why is everyone celebrating?
the thoughts in my head - they shouldnt be there. and the memories i have - i shouldnt have them. the things that i feel - they arent the right feelings for the holidays. sometimes i think my life is irrevocably corrupted. maybe it is. maybe i can never feel the peace of redemption.but i know now, as i didnt before, that it doesnt matter.
the things that i do now are generally decent things to do. the motives for doing those things are far more questionable. maybe nothing i do in this life will ever be perfect or pure.
that doesnt matter either.
whatever my thoughts, memories, feelings, motives... it doesnt matter. the only person those things affect is me. it is action that affects others. and above anything else, it is actions we can control. above anything else, i want to affect others in a positive way.
if i move in with a 92 year old woman out of the motive of free rent and end up helping her by moving in... what does it matter why i moved in?
it doesnt.
in other news... im still in love.
posted by Anonymous @ 8:28 PM
